oh christmas tree

canon digital rebel xsi

I've been thinking about when to put up the tree. For many families there is a tradition around the tree. When it is put up. How it gets decorated. What you do during, and maybe even after it is done.

I realized that in my family, when I was still living with both my parents, we didn't put up the tree until the last minute. In fact, on our last Christmas together, we put up the tree on Christmas Eve.

I really really wanted a white Christmas tree. I was seven, and pretty much got what I wanted. We had an artificial green tree in the basement, but I convinced my father it was time for a new one. My mother was not keen on the idea, but let us go shopping on the day before Christmas.

All the trees were half off. They only had one white one that met my standards. Unfortunately it was out of stock.

The good news was that the sales lady said if we helped her remove the decorations, we could have the floor model. Even better, we could have all the ornaments at no charge. Score!

So we helped pack up the decorations. They were red balls and little snowmen and women. We packed up the tree and loaded up the car. Then we went home and set everything up. It looked great. And was ready just in time to go to bed and wait for Santa's arrival.

I am not sure when we took the tree back down, but I bet it was before the New Year. We could always go visit my grandmother, who had her tree (which touched the ceiling) up for most of January. It was green though, not white.


on the night stand :: When Wanderers Cease to Roam by Vivian Swift.

catching up

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I thought I would do an update of sorts:

• I finally made the last of what I had planned for Thanksgiving dinner - stuffed mushrooms.


• We have just about finished the leftovers from Thanksgiving. We really got our $8 out of that turkey.


• I finished my holiday card list. I am sure there will be some additions, and I still need some addresses, but I could get the bulk of the cards in the mail by the 15th.


• I have even started addressing the cards. I should probably order stamps.


• I also figured out our holiday gift list.


• I am also once again caught up on my postcard project. Card number 10 goes in the mail tomorrow.

on the night stand :: Of Bees and Mist by Eric Setiawan.

trying to get into the holiday spirit

canon digital rebel xsi

This is the first year in a very long time that I actually have a tree and decorations. Usually this time of year I am posting about wanting a Christmas tree, and childhood memories of begging for a tree. That said, I have no idea what is wrong with me.

Part of me thinks it is still a little early for decorating. It is only the 7th. The other obstacle is that the tree is in the garage. And I am afraid of the garage. There are big nasty spiders in there. I keep thinking that we are going to take the tree out of its bag, and find it covered in spiders. That is not my idea of a Christmas memory. Spiders make me scream.

I am still not done with the card list. It really isn't a difficult thing to do. I just have no motivation. I really should just sit down at the table, and get to work. In a few hours, I could at least have the envelopes addressed. No idea about what to say on the inside. I have done some work on what goes on the front.

Maybe that is what it is. All the work it takes to put this holiday together. Not that I don't like work. I just don't like work that isn't appreciated. I think I am having these feelings of no one really cares about me. I am feeling isolated (which makes sense since I do spend a great deal of my day alone). But I also feel when I do reach out, I am ignored.

I know that this time of year makes me feel vulnerable to start. I get to constantly be reminded that I don't have a family, and how that means I don't fit into the Hallmark image of Christmas. That something is wrong with me. I also get to listen and watch other people whine about the families the do have. That's a pretty bad combination. It makes me vacillate between wanting to cry and scream. I probably shouldn't be around people.



on the night stand :: The Magician's Elephant by Kate DiCamillo.

wonder and delight

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This photo really doesn't do the holiday light display at Small World justice. It truly is amazing. It actually felt like it was snowing at Disneyland.

It truly has been decades since I have been to Disneyland during the holiday season. I know that it was special back then, but I couldn't believe how much wonder and delight the park holds right now.

I understand that they are making handmade candy canes now. I made marshmallows once. I can't imaging the work that goes into formed candy.

We plan to go back before the season is over. I can't wait!


on the night stand :: Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon.

making a list

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Today we headed to Old Town Pasadena to do some holiday shopping of sorts. Even when you don't do the present thing, there are still things you need. We got the blank cards. Two packs of 50. I know of only one store that carries them. Thankfully, they were on sale too.

We also got boxes for cookies. I guess I am committing to this holiday baking project. It has been ages since I have baked cookies as presents. I stopped because it was so much work. One year I literally had every plate we had covered with cookies. There were so many cookies, even after my Mom gave them to everyone she wanted, there was still enough to fill a coat box - yes a box large enough to fit a full length winter coat.

The worst part of it was the next year when people didn't receive a box of cookies. Some people got rather nasty, wanting to know where there cookies were. It was truly awful. I hope I don't regret this.

While we were at The Container Store, we also picked up an 8 quart container for bread dough. I think this may solve the problem I have been having making bread - it doesn't have enough room to rise. With this container, you can actually see how much your dough is rising. I hope this does the trick.

on the night stand :: A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore.

25 days of free music

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Amazon is once again offering 25 daily holiday music downloads for free. Every day in December, there is a new MP3. You need to download the Amazon MP3 Downloader to start. Of course, you must also have an Amazon.com account.

I did this last year, and it was quite a mix. There was a little something for everyone. You can download them daily, or throughout the month. After the 25th though, they may or not be available.

Here is the playlist to date:

1. Joy to the World by Casting Crowns (from the album Peace on Earth)


2. Snow Angel by Tori Amos (from the album Midwinter Graces)


3. The Coventry Carol by Mediaeval Baebes (from the album Mistletoe & Wine)


4. Slower Than Christmas (explicit) by The Box Masters (from the album Christmas Cheer (explicit))


5. God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen by Jars of Clay (from the album Christmas Songs)


6. Christmas Tree by Lady GaGa (from the album Christmas Tree)


7. No Room by Todd Agnew (from the album Do You Hear What I Hear)


8. Hark the Herald Angels Sing by Carola (from the album Christmas in Bethlehem)


9. This Christmas Girl by James Pants (from the album Badd Santa)


10. Silent Night by House of Heros (from the album The Christmas Classics)


11. O Holy Night by Richie McDonald (from the album O Holy Night)

And just for today, you can download the entire soundtrack to the Disney Pixar movie, UP. Go here and enter the code: latimesdisney. This expires on December 3, 2009, so act quickly.

on the night stand :: Nuture Shock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson.

a postcard project

canon digital rebel xsi

I have decided what to do for December's challenge. I really do have close to 31 postcards around here. Why not send them out over the month, and see what happens. It could be fun. Or at least interesting.

I have postcards from Vegas and Disneyland and even Oregon. There are also some from the W Hotel. Those are actually pretty cool. I love postcards, but do agree that they are best sent out into the world.

I also realized today that I need to get started on my holiday cards. I always say I will get them out by the 15th, but have never succeeded. I'm lucky if I make it by Christmas day.


on the night stand :: Await Your Reply

and so november ends

canon digital rebel xsi

Yesterday we decided to give in, and returned to the happiest place on earth. It is the first time I have been there in decades for the holiday season. It did not disappoint.

The main thing I wanted to see was Small World. Oh wow! We waited in line for about 30 minutes in the middle of the afternoon. The holiday decorations inside were amazing. I loved how they matched the country with their actual holiday traditions. We knew though, that we needed to return after the sun went down for the light show.

We lucked out and only had to wait in line about 10 minutes for Buzz Lightyear. Then we walked around the Matterhorn, towards Small World. Even from afar, the lights were amazing. We only had one obstacle in our way - the parade.

We ended up in a line to get across the parade route. A cast member instructed us to walk fast, or we would have to wait for the next break in the parade to cross.

We made it across just fine. Then we made it to the front of Small World. Wow. Just wow.

Then we figured out where the end of the line was, an got in it. Even better, we managed to see the end of the parade up close. And just when it couldn't get any more awesome, the light show started as we were on the ramp down to the boats.

I have photos, but haven't downloaded them yet. Heck, I'm hoping to finish everything I had planned for Thanksgiving dinner sometime this week.



on the night stand :: The Curse of the Good Girl by Rachael Simmons.

i survived another thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving dinner went off without any real issues. I ended up toning down the feast a bit. I not only realized this was way too much food for four people and one pre-schooler, but I was running out of time and oven space. I nixed the stuffed mushrooms and the corn souffle. I had just about run out of milk too, so that also meant the corn souffle was really not going to happen, even if I could find a place in the oven for it.

B was in charge of finishing tidying up the house, while I cooked. I came down to the kitchen around 8:30 am and pretty much went non-stop until 2:30 pm. I took a break to change my clothes, and laid down for about 5 minutes. Then it was back to check on the turkey, and get everything ready for that last half hour of getting everything to the table warm.

I let the turkey rest in a sink full of water, while I started on the gravy and the stuffing. The gravy required blanching 24 cloves of garlic three times. It isn't difficult, but labor intensive. While the garlic was blanching, I sauteed the onions and other vegetables.

Once the turkey was ready to go in the oven, I was somewhat relieved. If nothing else, we would have turkey and pie. There was a moment where I couldn't find the onions for the green bean casserole, but I just went and did something else. When I came back, I found them.

We ended up eating on the patio. It was 80F in LA yesterday. It was actually nice. Of course, it is still autumn, so once the sun starting setting, it got chilly, so we went inside.

We had pie a few hours later in the (formal) dining room. It is pretty ironic that I currently reside in a house that has three dining tables, that seat at least six people, after not having a dining table for so long.

At the end of the day, I was too busy and tired to really get upset or sad. I dragged my sore body downstairs to put the remaining food away. I was going to have a turkey sandwich, but really was too tired. I forced myself to do a load of dishes, and then went to bed.

It was nice not to deal with any family drama at least. Of course, it doesn't make for the most interesting of blog posts.


on the night stand :: 14 Cows for America by Carmen Deedy.

pie takes a long time

canon digital rebel xsi

I forgot how long pie takes to make. The crust itself, only takes a couple of minutes in the Cuisinart. But then it must be chilled. And then rolled. And then chilled. And then filled. And then chilled. And finally baked. And at long last cooled.

The apple pie I made wasn't difficult, but I started the process at 1pm, and it didn't get into the oven until after 5pm. Of course, I wasn't entirely focused on pie making - there is also cleaning to do. Still, I figure from the time you measure the flour, until the pie is completely cooled (which is essential), you are easily looking at 8 or more hours until pie.

I don't see how anyone can make pies and turkey at the same time. Even if you had two ovens, it would be quite a feat to pull off.

My plan was to also make the gravy and the popovers. After two pies, I am beat. Guess I will just get up extra early tomorrow.




on the night stand :: Both Ways Is The Only Way I Want It by Maile Meloy.

thanksgiving is almost here

canon digital rebel xsi

I am trying to stay organized about the upcoming holiday. Since I am doing all the cooking, but still want to spend some time with our guests, I think this is the key. Of course, there is always that last hour or so, which is a mad dash rush to get everything to the table, hot.

Here is the plan:

• Sunday: take the turkey out of the freezer.


• Monday: make the cranberry sauce.


• Tuesday: bake the garnet yams. I will let them cool, and store in a plastic bag until Thursday, when all I need to do is peel and mash and reheat with a bit of butter. Take the bread I've been saving for the stuffing out of the freezer, along with the sausage.


• Wednesday: bake the apple pie and the chocolate chunk pecan pie, along with the popovers (they can be reheated). Also may try to prep the stuffing.


• Thursday: start with the turkey. Then finish off the stuffing. Next peel the potatoes. And put the green bean casserole and corn pudding together. Heat everything. Thank goodness for two ovens! Finally, make the gravy, carve the turkey, and enjoy!

on the night stand :: Otis by Loren Long.

i should be packing

canon digital rebel xsi

I moved the turkey to the fridge this morning. I can't believe we are now days away from the big day. Check your bird (if it is frozen) for thawing instructions. This is usually something that takes days - not hours. It is one of the pitfalls of Thanksgiving - waking up on Thursday morning to find that your turkey is still frozen. Don't let it happen to you.

Today marks three weeks since my iPhone went missing. My purse spilled out onto the backseat of the car last night. Secretly I hoped that I would reach down and discover my missing phone and all would be well with the world again. Ironically I left my RAZR back at the house, so for a moment thought I had somehow managed to misplace another phone.

Tomorrow we are dropping off a large shopping bag filled with little bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. It is part of what we have amassed over the last year of staying at hotels. It is going to the LA Regional Food Bank thanks to Vroman's Bookstore.

on the night stand :: Julie Andrew's Collection of Poems, Songs & Lullabies by Julie Andrews & Emma Walton Hamilton

i love pie

canon digital rebel xsi

I am started to get excited about making Thanksgiving Day pie. We were watching Martha's pie show on the Tivo, and definitely inspired by the amazing pies.

It reminded me that I need to join the American Pie Council. I had planned on doing it over the summer, but didn't want to spend the $40 for a lifetime membership. But I figure if it keeps me dedicated to the art of pie making, why not? Did you even know that such an organization existed? Also, mark your calendars now - National Pie Day is January 23.

Today I also watched a live online pie crust demonstration by one of the bakers over at King Arthur Flour. Although I have made several pies from scratch now, I still have a few trouble spots. This woman was great! She went step-by-step on how to make a pie crust, and the pitfalls to avoid. Here are a few things I learned:

• When adding the water, do so a few tablespoons at a time, using a measuring cup designed for liquid measuring. It is very hard to get excess water out of a pie crust, so best to go slowly, and watch it.


• There is no magic formula to how much water a crust will need to take shape. It depends on the water in the air and in your flour as a result. At different times of the year, you may need significantly more or less liquid to get your dough to form a ball.


• When rolling out the dough, roll in one direction only. This will help keep the dough circular. [I think this may be my issue.]


• Also, when rolling dough, flip it from time to time. This will ensure that your dough isn't sticking to your work surface. If it does, lift your dough with a scraper, add some more flour to your work area, and continue rolling.


• Make sure you dough is rolled out enough so that you have an inch all around your pie plate. Hold your pie plate over your dough to figure this out - no ruler necessary.


• To get your dough to the pie plate without tearing, fold the dough in half twice. This will give you a quarter pie shape. Center the point of the dough, with the center of the plate, and carefully unfold. [This one I must try!]


• To prevent a pie that is gooey white on the bottom, roll out your top crust before adding the filling to the pie.

Even before I learned of the pumpkin shortage, I wasn't planning on making pumpkin pie this holiday. It truly isn't my favorite. I like it, but not enough to eat an entire pie, which is probably what would happen. I do really think that pumpkin is America's Marmite. I think that like Marmite, if you weren't raised on it, you just don't acquire a taste. We are having Germans to dinner. I suspect they would react to pumpkin the same way the French interns did that one year in San Francisco.

I am making an apple pie along with a chocolate pecan pie. We call the latter one brownie pie. I bet a certain little pilgrim cow might come join us for a slice.

on the night stand :: Pie by Ken Haedrich.

it's national clean your refrigerator day

canon digital rebel xsi

Today is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day. No idea who started it, but I cleaned out the fridge anyway. To be honest, it needed it. I didn't find anything nasty - that happened weeks ago when I found a half of jalapeno bagel the in-laws left in the door because they won't throw any food away! And now there is plenty of room for that turkey to defrost next week.

As I wiped down the shelves, I was remembering when I was around 10, and we moved into a small rental house. It didn't come with a refrigerator, so we bought a second-hand one. It was brown, and huge. It had a freezer on the bottom. You stepped on a pedal to open the freezer. It was pretty clever, especially when you were trying to put the ice cube trays in it.

The first night we had the fridge, it made a very strange loud noise. It sounded like a space ship had landed in our kitchen. It woke us up. We ran out into the kitchen to see what was happening. It took a few nights, but we learned to get used to it.

It would seem that there was a problem with the fridge (perhaps something to do with that noise), but there wasn't much we could do. The worst of it was that it made ice - in the bottom of the refrigerator! What a pain that was to clean.

Somehow that job fell to me. I hated doing it, and probably made it a more difficult process letting it go for too long. I remember one afternoon spent trying everything I could think of to get a solid one-inch block of ice that had grown under the vegetable bins.

I tried melting the ice with pots of hot water. The idea was boil some water in a pot, and then place the entire pot onto the ice. No idea where I came up with this idea. When it didn't work very well, I probably tried pouring hot water on the ice, making an even bigger mess.

Next I got out the hammer and screwdriver, in an attempt to chisel away at the block of ice. I did finally get a piece of it out, but it took what felt like forever. Then all the ice sat in the sink to melt, while I mopped up the mess on the floor.

We kept that fridge until I started high school. We moved to an apartment that had a fridge. But even if it hadn't, that monster would not have fit in the allotted space. I was so thankful to not have to defrost the fridge any longer.



on the night stand :: Princess Hyacinth by Florence Perry Heide.

we got a turkey

canon digital rebel xsi

I don't know when the grocery stores decided to make the Thanksgiving turkey the loss leader, but every year it is more fun to watch the specials. Some years it is two-for-one turkeys. Other years, $10 off with coupon. There was even one year where you got a free small frozen bird, if you bought a fresh one.

Tonight we found ourself at the local Von's market. They were selling turkeys up to 16-pounds for $8, and over that for $10. Of course you had to spend $25, with some exclusions, but it seemed like a good deal, so we went for it.

Although the $10 turkeys were the better deal, I prefer to work with something on the smaller side. We are fortunate to have two ovens in the kitchen, but that means that they are smaller than most single ovens found under a stove. Plus, we really don't need a 22-pound bird for five people (our current guest count) - that's probably too many leftovers.

So we started looking though the turkey bin. Most of the $8 birds were in the 10-pound range - that's a tad small. We considered a smaller on from the $10 pile, but of course most of those were over 20-pounds. After a bit of searching, we found one just shy of 15 pounds - perfect!

Now all we had to do was buy some groceries. It was late, and we had really only planned on getting what we needed for the morning. I ended up getting a jar of my favorite pickles that were $6.79. Ouch! And of course some bottled water, and the pans for the turkey and stuffing. B found the last bottle of apple juice on sale. We got some eggs, milk, butter, and turkey sausage for our breakfast, and figured we would more than make the $25 minimum purchase. [Oh, and a box of donuts and some ice cream bars - why we don't shop the chain stores too often.]

We got into the express lane, with a full cart, but figuring we were within the 15 item limit. No one was ahead of us, or behind us. This should go quickly, we thought. There was even a friendly bagger ready at the wait. Unfortunately, the cashier rang up the turkey twice.

No worries, right, you just void out one, and all is well. Not quite. Somehow the computer couldn't handle that, and while it removed the extra turkey, it didn't remove the extra discount. So after some discussion with her fellow cashier, it was decided she would void the entire order, and do it again. Did I mention that the groceries were all bagged and in the cart?

Thankfully it went quickly. But still, that was probably more effort than required for a Butterball.


on the night stand :: Jamie's Food Revolution by Jamie Oliver.

gratitude

canon digital rebel xsi

With Thanksgiving coming, many people are counting down November with daily gratitude lists. That puts me ten days behind. So here are ten things I am thankful for, in no particular order:

• My husband.


• My friends.


• Monster sheets - they keep me safe while I sleep.


• Plans for Thanksgiving. Yay for new traditions.


• A clean kitchen.


• The music of Danny Elfman. [Listened to the soundtrack from The Nightmare Before Christmas today - it was magical.]


• Morning pages.


• Eighty degree weather in November. It was gorgeous today with the windows open.


• Fresh, sweet raspberries. It's like tasting summer.


• My iBook - it keeps me connected.

on the night stand :: You Better Not Cry by Augusten Burroughs.

a reason for the season

canon digital rebel xsi

This rant is a little late this year. Halloween is this weekend, and I have already received countless email messages with pre-pre-pre-holiday sales. In fact, I just opened one tonight for Christmas candy! Could we get rid of the Halloween candy first? PLEASE!!!

Once again I do my part to remind people that the holiday season is not about counting how many presents you give or receive, but rather a time to spend with those you love (related by blood or not) and count your blessings. This year, most people are looking at tightened budgets, and wondering how to make do. Trust me when I say that there are many people out there worse off than you. With this guide, I hope to help everyone come up with ways to enjoy whatever holiday they celebrate. With a little planning, and setting expectations, you can have a wonderful guilt-free holiday season.

This year I would like to challenge everyone to think of those less fortunate - and act. In the US, homeless is on the rise, especially among families with children. Reports are that the average age of a homeless person is a mere 9-years old. Think about that when someone tries to guilt you into something this season.

Conversations with friends have reminded me that sometimes we all need to step back and remember what we are celebrating during the holidays. I suppose I should step back here for a minute and state for the record that I love Christmas. I love the decorations – from the fancy themed department store window displays to the Charlie Brown Christmas trees. I love the music – my holiday collection is huge and I know it drives some people nuts. I love the traditions – from hanging stockings to special recipes that have been handed down several generations. I even love the cards – from finding just the right one down to the stamp that goes on the front. All of these things connect us to others and remind of where we come from. What I can’t stand is the notion that you have to spend, spend, spend – because that my friends is what tears us apart.

Don’t get me wrong, for those that have more money than they could ever know what to do with, I say go for it, especially if you remember the little people along the way. But most of us, aren’t close to having those kinds of problems of abundance, as my friend S, often reminds us. I’ll say it again because it still rings true: Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice is every day that you have a roof over your head, food on the table, and people who love you. The terrorists don’t win if you spend beyond your means and literally spend the next decade or more paying off the interest payments. When families are forced to live paycheck to paycheck so they can keep up with the Jones, no one wins. It truly is that simple.

If you sit down and get kids to open up, they really don’t want (most) a new bike or the latest video game system. Children want to spend quality time (a little one-on-one) with Mom or Dad (or both). Remember that when the urge strikes to go over your budget – think about how many late nights you will need to spend at the office to pay for it.

That doesn’t mean I am totally against the whole present thing either – I just think it should be done within the spirit of the season and your means. How many times have you received a present that a) was so not you, it wasn’t even funny, b) felt guilty because you knew the giver had spent too much, and/or c) wish they really hadn’t? True, there is something to the notion it is that thought that counts. But if you believe that, then be thoughtful this holiday season – to all parties concerned. Because, again be honest, how many times have you a) bought someone something because you felt you had to, b) had no idea what to get someone but got them something anyway, and/or c) went over budget because of these feelings of obligation and guilt? The holiday season shouldn’t be so painful. That’s not what they are about.

Fret not. Hope is not lost. Here is my updated guide to enjoying the season. It’s not too late to catch the true spirit of the holidays. In fact, there is plenty of time to turn the tides and make this the best holiday season yet!

• Set expectations. This is probably most important. Let your friends and family (including kids old enough to understand) you plan to do things a little different this year. Of course, be sure to share some of the highlights of the fun things you have planned instead, and let the excitement begin.


• Get creative. Grab your local paper or go on line and see what’s going on this season. Maybe tickets to the Nutcracker (there is lots of great community theatre out there) and make a night of it. Where are the best places to see the lights? Pack some hot cocoa and bring your camera. If you belong to a church or synagogue, investigate what activities they will be offering (midnight mass isn’t always at midnight). Don’t forget your library. Chances are good there are fliers posted with music concerts, art making, and perhaps even caroling opportunities. Also many museums have free days around the holidays. Why not take advantage?


• Get everyone involved. It’s no fun if someone does all the planning. Have a brainstorming session. Ask what they want to experience this holiday season. Make sure at least one idea from each person is included in your plans. Learning to compromise is important. Also assign age-appropriate tasks to help everything come together. Share the work of gathering information, ordering tickets, making reservations, inviting other, and so on, with the entire family so no one is overburdened.


• Plan ahead. Sit down and mark out your plans, and make sure everyone in your family gets a copy. Remember that since you will not be shopping and running around like a crazy person, you will have time on your hands, so have fun and enjoy the simple joys of the holiday season.


• Make a gift list. Decide who you would like to give a gift and a budget. Here are so no-to-low cost ideas:
  
  
  • Coupons. This was my Mom’s favorite and better received that you might think. Gifts of time (a day with you, baby-sitting, errand running, a week of your kid’s chores, etc.) are always appreciated. If appropriate, kisses and back rubs are nice too. Don’t forget to put expiration dates and if you like, make some redeemable for a particular time of year when you have more time/money.
  
  
  • Use your talents. If you love to cook or knit or sew, the ideas are limitless. If you have a knack for music, put together a mix of your favorite songs. Did you take an amazing photo this year? Find an inexpensive frame and presto! If you have a dozen or so you love, make a calendar.
  
  
  • Write a letter. Not one of those awful over-the-top-my-family-is-better-than-yours end of the year holiday updates though. Tell someone how you really feel. Let them know you care and think of them. Also what you hope for them. It is one of the simplest things to do; yet you’d be surprised how much this can mean to another. Speak from your heart and spelling and grammar won’t matter.
  
  
  • De-clutter. There is nothing wrong with giving a gently used book if you think the recipient would love it. Ms. Manners and other etiquette experts all agree that there is no harm in re-gifting (as long as you don’t make the grand faux pas of giving it back to the original gift-giver). In this category you may want to add passing down a treasured heirloom or even a family recipe. Just think of the goose bumps you would get if someone presented you with grandma’s pearls or Aunt Ida’s infamous eggnog recipe.
  
  
  • Donate. Give a gift to your favorite cause (or a cause the recipient believes in) in their name. Most organizations are happy to provide you with a card or letter for the recipient. Plus you may be able to earn a deduction on your taxes (no harm in that).
  
  
  • Do their homework. No, don't go digging up an essay so your niece sails through English 101. Here I am thinking about someone on your list that is going on a vacation or perhaps moving to a new town. Why not put together points of interest, restaurants, and other places of note. Trust me, this could easily be the best thing they ever received.
  
  
• Draw names. If you have a big family I have heard this works great. Everyone draws a name and a limit is put on the amount spent. This would also work well in families that have seen a sudden rise in little ones - this way the adults don't feel left out.


• Shop locally. Support your local artists at a holiday fair or family owned specialty shop in town.


• Use the Internet. If you want to buy a big-ticket item or a must-have toy, do a search on Google (or other search engines). See who is offering the best price. Also use Google (or other search engines) to see if a particular retailer is offering free shipping or other specials. Click, click and you are done. Items can be shipped to your office to make things easier and keep from ruining the surprise. Also if you haven't discovered Etsy, the holidays would be a good time. Artists from all over the world offer amazing crafts and artwork, many at good prices.


• Give back. Again, you should find some time opening up without all the rushing around or looking for parking at the mall. But just an FYI – soup kitchens usually have more people then they know what to do with on actual holidays, so try to pick a day when people are needed and you and yours will feel more useful. Adopting a family is a great idea if you can, or on a smaller scale most malls/bookstores/kids stores will have trees filled with ornaments that represent a child’s wish. Also don't forgot about thanking the folks who helped make your holidays a little brighter.


• It's okay to wish. Don’t be afraid to use wish lists. If you have generous family or friends who would like to get presents (especially for the little ones), it is perfectly fine to have a wish list. People who don’t have kids are often clueless about what to get, or afraid of getting something the child already has or in the wrong size. That said, I wouldn’t necessarily advertise it, but if they ask, why not make it easy? And of course, if you do use one, keep it current! Is your wish list current? Save yourself the hassle of returns. And what better time to update your wish list on Amazon then when they are giving stuff away for doing so?


• Oh, and don’t forget Buy Nothing Day. Instead of going to the mall the Friday after Thanksgiving (this year November 27 in the US), resist the urge to spend any money. As the site says, for 24 hours every November we remember that no one was born to shop. There has to be something you would rather do than risk your life looking for parking at the mall.

on the night stand :: Big Frog Can't Fit In by Mo Willems.

your name here

I thought this was great for two reasons - the first is obvious: there are people out there right now who don't have the means to keep warm this winter, so why not donate a coat you are no longer using. The second is that the video they sent me in my email had my name in the coat the woman puts on at the end. I wasn't expecting it, and it took me a second to realize, "hey, that's me."^* It really sent the message home. Talk about personalizing video!

Unfortunately my winter coats are all in storage 2000 miles away, or I would donate. This also seems like a great way to save a little bit of money if your child's coat no longer fits from last winter.

_________________________________________________________
^*This could be because I am still not used to my married name.

on the night stand :: The Magician's Elephant by Kate DiCamillo.

twenty-four hours to go

I am still not done, but two funny things did happen today. The first was at the post office.

I decided that I wanted to go to the post office. I may not get my Christmas cards in the mail by the 25th, but I wanted my friends to get their presents before then. So the first thing I did today was pack up the mail. I got three packages ready to go, and headed over to the post office. I got very lucky and snagged a prime parking spot. There was a bell ringer, acting as a doorman. When I heard his bell, I snagged two quarters from the ashtray and then locked the car doors with the packages still inside. So much for being efficient.

The line inside wasn't too bad. It ended at the inner door of the post office. While I was in line I noticed a woman who had moved to the side to fill out a form or something. She was done, but the postal worker was helping another person who had also stepped to the side to fix something. He told her he would be right with her.

When it was finally her turn, she handed him her forms and he asked her what she was mailing. What he meant was how she wanted to send her package. She pulled out another form and said this was the address she needed to send it to. It turned out she was mailing an American Express check for $44,000. She wanted to send it regular mail.

The guy behind the counter was beside himself. He explained that that was a large sum of money and the with regular mail, there was no way to track it, if it got lost. He strongly advised her to mail it certified or at least delivery confirmation. He went to the back to finish the transaction, and when he returned she was gone. Want to bet she just dropped that check in the mailbox?

Weird incident number two happened in the kitchen.

When I returned home, after redeeming our recycling check and grabbing lunch, I did the dishes. The disposal side was backing up, so I decided to run it. After a few seconds it started to make one of those noises you don't like to hear. I thought for sure another spoon had gotten stuck down there. I was quite stunned to find my sock!

I was not sure initially how my sock could have ended up in the garbage disposal. Someone suggested that the washing machine was backing up into the sink. The only thing is that the washing machine is clear across on the other side of the house. If that were the case, I probably shouldn't flush any of the toilets, or who knows what would happen.

I decided to pour all the liquor in the cabinets down the sink. I haven't been drinking. But B said I could toss the stuff since most of it has been sitting in that cupboard for a very long time.

That's when I figured out that I had recently pre-soaked some white laundry in a plastic tub in the sink. It had included a couple of pairs of my socks. I guess when I drained the tub, one of the socks went into the disposal. I am just glad I found it and not B's mother. Can you imagine? And this one time....



on the night stand :: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road

not there yet

I am really surprised that I am not more panicky. I look around and keep seeing things that need to be done. Honestly I don't know why I didn't get more finished today.

I keep telling myself I can do this. It will be okay. But I guess I am tired of it. I don't know.

It doesn't help when I see things that I thought were finished, need to be redone. I "polished" the new fridge a few days ago. It came with this bottle of stuff that did an amazing job. Left it like it was new. Today I noticed a big smudge on the door. Oy!

The perfectionist in me is having a grand old time. Everywhere I look I see little tiny details that need to be tended to. I think it is because I am using my super judgmental eyes. I remember growing up and I would do something like clean the kitchen. My Mom would go over my work, and grab me by the arm and bring me to the counter and show me some speck of something that I had missed. It is weird the stuff the sticks with you.

I guess I am worried that even after everything I do, it won't matter. Something will be found that I have done wrong, and it will completely negate what I have done. Never good enough. Never right.

I have less than two days to pull this all together and make it work. I was reminded today that I need to be positive. I need to go in and not have expectations. This is my holiday too, and it is my job to have fun and enjoy it. If others don't want to, I can't make them.



on the night stand :: Cooking with All Things Trader Joe's

and then there were three

I am down to the final three days. There is still much to do. All the little details.

Big event of today was cleaning the oven. Thrilling, I know. Oven cleaner has come a long way, but it still stinks. And because of the pouring rain, I could not open the windows. I only had these disposable gloves meant for keeping your hands clean when working with food. I think I changed them about ten times. Maybe because there were 500 of them in the box? It was like a surgical procedure. I am still not sure why they are there. I kept calling them OJ gloves, although they are not quite the same.

The dining room table is like excavating an archeology site, and the thing I have been avoiding. All these layers of the weeks and months gone by. Where does all this paper come from? The goal is to not get sidetracked by a find (like an address for those Christmas cards that might just become New Year's cards). At the same time it is hard not to get overwhelmed with where everything needs to go. I am trying not to micro-organize.

The linens are about finished. At least I think they are.

Friday is still going to be a make or break it day. Why didn't my alcoholic parents teach me to drink?! I am not sure how I am going to survive this sober.


on the night stand :: The Way We Work by David Macaulay

that is what it is all about

Four days to go! Made more progress, but probably still not enough where I won't be freaking out Friday night and yelling. At one point I went and crawled under the covers. That's when it hit me - I haven't seen, spoken, heard, touched, hugged, smelled, or felt my Mom in nearly ten years. That took a few minutes to recover from.

Yet here I am driving myself crazy, trying to get this house (that isn't mine) ready for the arrival of B's family. Today I spent the day washing the sheets and blankets while putting away things so that there isn't anything on any surface in this house. I also went out to Target and tried to find a replacement bulb for the one I broke. No luck. Came home with another string of lights, which turn out use less energy, but also are smaller than the other strands I bought. I put them on anyway. Somehow I spent $75 so I could use a coupon I had for $5 off. I feel like such a sucker.

I think part of what is going on with me is that I am becoming one of those people who dreads the holidays. There are all these messages telling us that the holidays are a time to spend with your family. Well, what do you do when you don't have a family? Feel like a total loser.

It doesn't help that watching B's family interact (or lack thereof) with one another makes me want to scream. The last time they were here, they couldn't get it together to come to the table at the same time and share a meal. It made me want to smash something (typically my head into a wall). The worst was when they asked me to make dinner for them, and then wouldn't eat with us.

B's sister, who is only a year younger than B, seems to regress to a teenager with serious emo issues when she is here. If she isn't off with her parents, then she is in her room. B has tried invited her out with us, but she turns him down. She doesn't drive when she is here, so that does make her a bit of a hostage. There really isn't much within walking distance of interest from the house. I feel for her, but am at a loss. It also tears me to bits to watch, having lost my sister.

B's other sister, also younger, will be added into the mix this time around, along with her husband. Last time we saw them was at B's graduation. It was pretty clear his sister didn't want to be there. She wore jeans and a zipper down fleece. When B introduced her around, people didn't believe she also had an MBA from a top ten school, and worked for one of the most prestigious firms on Wall Street. Again, truly bizarre behavior. I almost asked her if the airlines lost her luggage, because that was the only explanation that made any sense.

And as if all of that is not interesting enough, B's almost 5-year old nephew will be joining us too. His not quite 2-year old brother, will not. I don't know why beyond the fact that he is with his paternal grandparents, 6000 miles away. We originally thought the reason for this trip was to reunite the child with his parents (being brought back by his maternal grandparents), but we guessed wrong.

In other news, B asked about Christmas dinner, and got a reply from his mother. Apparently she is busy doing stuff that needs to be done before they leave, and hadn't really given it much thought. She said that she would like to have it here and that perhaps her brother and his family would join us. Of course she didn't say if she wanted to have said dinner on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. She also left the menu up to us.

It is a start. But B couldn't get ahold of his Uncle today to see what his plans were. We were thinking of doing it Christmas Eve so that we could do what we usually do on Christmas - go to the movies and eat Chinese food.

So how do I keep it together when all I will probably want to do is go somewhere and cry? And when will I find time to clean the oven, finish the Christmas cards, and wash all the linens?




on the night stand :: Paper Towns by John Green

five days to go

Now would NOT be a good time for a panic attack, but I feel panicking. B found hooks for the ornaments at K-Mart - from the Martha Stewart collection no less. Two packs for a buck. Simple and in two sizes. Of course while he was out, I decided to move the string of lights around. In the process a red one got smashed. I cleaned up the glass, but now need to find a replacement bulb if I want to light the extra lights. Ugh!! Why didn't I buy replacements when I was out last night?! I feel so stupid, and like I am seriously losing this game.

The laundry has caught up to me as well. I thought this would be a week to do the sheets, but forgot we brought back two bags of laundry from San Diego. The real issue is the rain. The house feels damp, meaning the clothes that I line dry will take twice as long.

Meanwhile, I still have not gotten the kitchen entirely under control. We really just need to stop eating. I think it is in better shape than I give myself credit for, but there is still work to be done. Remember, every surface of every counter must be empty, or the things on it will get moved into places I would never even think of looking.

I am not sure if I should focus on a room until it is done, or go about in the way that I have been. The scary part of the way I have been going is that it looks like nothing will ever get done, and I get a bit freaked out. It is still doable. I know I can get everything done. I just need to focus and be like a Nike commercial and Do it!



on the night stand :: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

it is beginning to look like christmas

We got a tree today! This is a huge deal. Aside from an ornament tree, in the 20 years we have known each other, this is our first tree. It is 6.5 feet tall, artificial and pre-lit. We got the floor model, half price, at Lowe's. It has a bit of Charlie Brown flair to it.

Growing up, once we moved to California, it was rare that we had a Christmas tree. This broke my heart in ways I can't explain. My paternal grandmother loved Christmas. She has a 9' tall tree in her living room. She often left it up until Easter. She had boxes of ornaments and a little village that went around the bottom of the tree.

One year my Mom's on and off live-in boyfriend, affectionately known as Bozo, decided we could get a tree. I think this may have been because the previous year, I managed to get a tree on my own. Our classroom had a tree, and I asked if I could have it when I realized it would just be tossed before we left for the holiday break. I even convinced the mother who had donated it to drive it to our house.

Bozo decided the tree we got should be real, and we should chop it down ourselves. I decided I wanted the "perfect" tree, and we went to three Christmas tree farms before I was coerced into agreeing I had indeed found the "perfect" tree. Then my sister and I each took a handle of the saw and tried to cut it down, sawing back and forth. Honestly, I was lucky Bozo didn't take an axe to me. We didn't have the strength to actually complete the tree cutting, and in the end, he had to step in. We got it home, but didn't have any decorations.

We did get him to agree to buy three strands of lights. It really wasn't enough. And I don't remember what else we found to put on the tree, but it was perfect.

Now all I need to do is find ornament hooks. Didn't they used to sell these at the check out aisles? Now it is all gift cards and candy. Witnessed a woman buy over $1000 worth of gift cards at the grocery store tonight. She said she was giving them as presents at a party she was having.


on the night stand :: The Lump of Coal by Lemony Snicket

one week to go

A week from now, the insanity officially begins. We spent the last two days in San Diego. Work commitments gave us the opportunity to get away. Unfortunately we ended up in a room next to some serious partying. They didn't call it a night until the wee hours of the morning. I almost called the front desk around 1am, but feared that might escalate things. It was a bit of a bummer. It is a nice hotel.

Overall though we had a good time. Practically had the hotel restaurant to ourselves on Thursday night. Loved that they served tea from Forte. It also showed up on our breakfast tray.

I made some progress on the holiday cards. Made a list. Got most addressed. Still need to look up a bunch of addresses though. I forgot how much work this is. I complain, but I truly do love sending these cards.

Another highlight of the short trip was finally getting to meet a friend's baby girl. She is now 7 months old, and born exactly a year after another friend's son. The last time we were in town we were at the baby shower! San Diego really isn't that far from Los Angeles.

Per usual, we overpacked. We had computers and library books. The staff helped us out with our stuff. In the confusion, the bag with the cows got put in the trunk! I had driven about a mile when I realized they were not in the back seat. I pulled the car over to a yellow zone, and B got out, stepping in a puddle, and moved them. Yes, we really did.


on the night stand :: The Story of a Marriage

box kicking

Remember those puzzles where you had to move tiles around so that all the numbers were in order? I loved them as a kid. Today I realized cleaning this house is a bit like one of those puzzles - you keep moving things around until everything finds its space.

The big moment today was cleaning out one of the drawers in the kitchen and moving the tin foil and such from the cabinet into said drawer. Suddenly there was room for the glasses and the bowls. It was like getting 1 through 4 in order.

Tonight I had B put the replacement panel in the light fixture in the kitchen. A few months ago it just fell out for no apparent reason. Crash onto the floor it went. Thankfully no one was in the kitchen at the time. We bought a replacement, but never put it up.

The other thing we seem to never get around to doing is tearing the boxes down for recycling. Sometimes I think it is easier to do a bunch of them at once. It is certainly satisfying to jump on them to further flatten them. I definitely kicked some boxes tonight.

I am now officially at the midpoint. I have ten days left. Progress has definitely been made, but there is still lots to do. I am officially caught up with the laundry, but know that a chunk of next week will be spent washing bed linens. Can't wait. Somewhere in there I need to write holiday cards and put up a tree (we still need to get). I found my Mrs. Meyer's Gingerbread spray and so at least it is starting to smell like Christmas.

We had leftovers for dinner tonight. That made things easier. Next week will definitely be about easy to clean up meals for sure. Maybe PB&J?


on the night stand :: A Penguin Story by Antoinette Portis

naked and starving

Today it dawned on me - if we just don't eat or wear clothes for the next 11 days I am absolutely sure I could get everything I need to do finished. Of course hunger might make it hard. And cleaning the shower naked is one thing, cleaning the oven without any clothes on is probably not a bright idea.

It is true though that I do spend a great deal of my time on the dishes and the laundry. Part of the problem is that they really can't be done at the same time. The water system in this house is weird. I think it has something to do with how the sprinkler system was installed. When the grass is being watered, you can't do anything involving water - especially not shower.

Speaking of the shower - well the tub, really - I awoke to find a large black fuzzy spider sitting in my sparkling white freshly bleached tub. I, of course, was sitting on the toilet at the time. My first instinct was to scream like Little Miss Muffet. Instead I went downstairs and had some oatmeal. Secretly I hope the Three Bears show up and eat me.

When I got the nerve to go back upstairs later in the afternoon, the spider was gone. My plan was to drowned it. I really didn't want to clean spider guts from the tub. Now I am really freaked out because I know it isn't really gone. And when I have to use that tub to take a shower in less than two weeks, I will be anxious the whole time, thinking about a big fuzzy spider coming to get me while I stand there naked with shampoo on my head. At least it will force me to be quick. I am sure B's parents feel I spend too much time (and water) in the shower.

When I look around I see bits of progress. Yet I know there is still much to do. There are dishes being cleaned in the dishwasher. Practically the same ones I used earlier in the day. There is also a load of laundry to hang, and another to fold. B is stuck in traffic, so I guess I should go do that after I check on dinner in the oven.

p.s. This week's holiday single on iTunes is Faith Hill's version of O Holy Night. It's free this week only. Go download it.

on the night stand :: 2009 Flowers Calendar by Smith & Hawken

the nightmares begin

I woke up in the wee hours screaming. I don't remember much about the dream nightmare except that all of the stuff in the house was suddenly being sucked down the staircase. The weird part is that I knew it was going to happen, but then I forgot, so I was taken aback when I realized what was going on. I remember seeing a king size comforter go flying down the hallway and get sucked into the staircase. That's when I started screaming "Oh my God!" and woke up (the house). It took me a bit to get back to sleep.

I did make some progress today though. I started in the upstairs bathroom. Despite that the tub hasn't been used, it looks like it belongs in a Frat House. It is hard to believe all that dirt comes flying through such a tiny window. Then again, this is LA County. It looks like the grout is breaking away. More fun.

Would have made more progress on the laundry had the stains not been so stubborn. And with the change in the weather, things are taking longer to air dry. Might have to put the drying rack outside.

It is getting to the point where there are piles of things to go through and find a space for. It looks like a giant step backwards, but it is usually what causes the big progress to occur - the darkness before the light.

Still the list keeps growing and I am now down to 12 days to get it all done. Meanwhile, here are some cool things to check out:

Amazon's 25 free Holiday songs: download a free MP3 every day until Christmas. You can get the earlier ones if you missed them.




on the night stand :: Chester's Back by Melanie Watt

weekend was a bust

I feel like I am treading water. It isn't that we didn't get stuff done this weekend - we did - just not around the house. We did get some shopping done.

Today was the grocery store. We saved about $30 on $100 worth of groceries thanks to our Ralph's card coupons. We had about four pages of coupons and we spent some time in the aisles trying to figure out which ones to use. For example we had coupons for $1.00 off fresh vegetables when you bought either three or four dollars worth. I am sure anyone watching was laughing at our debates, especially in the toilet paper aisle. Why does that have to be so confusing? We determined that the dollar 4-packs were not the deal. Best deal was 5-pound sack of russet potatoes for 75 cents.

Saturday we had a fun day shopping. We found something for the nephew that is living 9000 miles from his parents. We even figured out a way to get said present to him - hopefully even by Christmas day. I guess that is progress. I hadn't thought about it when we bought said present, but leaving it here could have caused all sorts of problems. Would the parents take it back to New York or would the grandparents take it back with them? Give me bonus points for avoiding that scenario.

We also found this amazing little restaurant. It's called Pie 'N Burger. We were actually hoping to go for breakfast, but arrived about 15 minutes too late. As the review promised, it is a bit reminiscent of The Apple Pan. It certainly has the counter and similar service. I'd say it reminds me a little of the recently closed Walkers of Albany California. We got a slice of cherry pie to go. Oh my - pie!

The list keeps growing, and it looks like I am going to lose a couple of days to a side trip to San Diego. Probably need to make myself sparse around the Internet for a day or three. I can get this done.


on the night stand :: Olivia Helps with Christmas by Ian Falconer

today i got nothing done

My feet hurt. The kitchen is an ongoing train wreck. Why does every dish I make seem to require a load of dishes? And why can't I find the Muppets' Christmas CD?

on the night stand :: I'd Really Like to Eat a Child

i made a list

And I think I can check one item off as done. My list is over three pages long, and growing. How ever am I going to get this all done over the next eighteen days?!

The dishes seem to be one of my pitfalls. It feels like I keep washing the same dishes over and over again. Part of my problem is that I am cooking things that while not extremely difficult, do take a bit of effort, and lots of pots, pans, and bowls. Ugh.

Tonight, for example, I made corn pudding. It is a souffle, but it isn't hard. It does take a pot, a bowl, the Cuisinart, and the souffle dish though. I served that with leftover roast pork from Thanksgiving. It leaked all over the bottom of the oven and made a lovely black stain. I knew I had to clean the oven again, but grrr!

Progress today included finding a place to drop off the extra canned goods I need to clean out of the cupboards. I have until this weekend. Then I can head over to Vromans bookstore to drop them off. They are collecting food all weekend at their locations. That's one less thing to worry about.

Why am I cleaning out the cupboards? Well, we are in a recession, and people who were once donors, are not clients of many food banks around the country. But truly it is because B's parents, his father in particular, gets really upset if there is more than one of the same thing in the cupboard. He spent one morning cleaning out the cupboards and got ballistic over two boxes of brown sugar and three kinds of flour. It was insane.


on the night stand :: Grumpy Bird by Jeremy Tankard

nineteen days

It's sounds like a long time, but really it isn't. Nineteen days is the amount of time I have to get this house back in order. The time I have left to mentally prepare myself for the arrival. To convince B that we should just head north or east. Be anywhere but here for the holidays. All we need is an Internet connection.

I have a list in my head of all that needs to be done. I need to commit it to paper. I have been so anxious, I just haven't been able to let myself do that.

I also need to prepare for Christmas. I promised myself I would get my cards out on time this year. I have the blanks. My address book is a mess though. And of course I need something to go on the front. That's the hard part.

There is also the question of the tree. This has been a big issue with me and B for years. When we thought B's nephews were coming for Christmas, it seemed like a no brainer. Now, it seems like something I could be judged for as being frivolous or taking over a house that isn't mine. Of course it didn't stop me from bringing home three reindeer ornaments from Starbucks today. I have this idea in my head of having a Twitter themed tree. Very high brow. No one would get it.

And of course there are thoughts of what happens once they arrive. I am a planner by nature. For better or worse, I like to know what is going to happen. I think this is what is driving me crazy. Although this is major progress - getting almost a months notice - we still know little about their plans. So the question remains do we just plan as if they weren't here, or do we keep our calendar open? Either way, I think we are screwed.

Today's progress included taking in the recycling, which required going to two centers. The first was not accepting glass. I also got some tips on taking a preschooler to Disneyland. I apparently need to get bandaides.

Nineteen days is roughly 456 hours or 27,360 minutes. Nineteen days is less time than they will be here.

It's really a pity I don't drink.


on the night stand :: More Information Than You Require by John Hodgeman